Is life this simple???

Things in my life are going good, things in my life aren't so bumpy. I didn't know I would/could feel so calm, relaxed, so not feaked out! Where has all my stress gone? I still feel worried, I still feel stress, but just not as much as the years past. Does this mean my life is getting to where it should be? Is this where I start living my life or do I need to worry that I'm not as stressed as I once was? Is there something wrong here or is this ok. Am I ok? I think I"m ok. I'm still on my meds, god forbide I take myself off of them because then I think I'll truley freak. Well this is whats on my mind! Do you think this is normal for a worry wort such as myself. I feel like running down the street screaming at the top of my lungs, AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (even rereading this makes me stressed...lol)

What to do!

How do you know what to stand up for? How do you know who to talk to about what your standing up for? You can either stand alone or get people involved, right? Depends on the subject and if its a sensitive matter. You ask questions to yourself that take over all aspects of thought pertaining to this very subject. At some point you realize it takes over you and still your in the same place that you started. Right? Well where do you go from there?
I am currently having trouble at work and needed some guidance from someone other than the fine people I work with everyday. So guess where I went HR (human relations). I'm not sure if this was the wisest things for me to do but it seemed good at the time. I have talked up my chain of command and nothing had worked. Nothing about this ever so scary thing I want to stand up for work and so this is what happened. I was told to wait. "Please wait for us and we'll get back to you" is what the lady told me and so here I am typing this out in the middle of the night and questions filling my head. I guess its better than screaming at the people at work, well I wouldn't do that but I think you might understand where I'm getting at.
Someone else mentioned that they too would go to HR and talk about some of the very things I had mentioned to them. I just wonder if this particular person will fallow through. I hate leading the pack. I'm either alone or I have a complete fallowing that goes no where because I'm to stupid to know what to do............sigh...............
So I sit here and sit here waiting. I bet they won't even call me back or get back to me. I'll have to make the first move again.
I'll let you know. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
So anyway getting back to my original question how do you know what to stand up for? How do you know its OK. How do you know there aren't going to be repercussions? Where does one wait for an answer? How does one keep silent about what they've done? and yet help others along to do the same thing? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! These must be good questions because I sure can't answer them at this hour.

Careless

I recently over drew my bank account. I would like to say that I'm a lot more are careful then I think but I'm not. I take it day by and day and think "oh my acct is fine" I then think of a million reasons why my acct could be in trouble and start to worry what I'm going to do to fix it. Is it Carelessness on my part? or is it that the banks are really trying to screw us over. I don't think its fair that the banks have so much control over your hard earned money. With out the banks most of our bills wouldn't be paid, just simply on the fact that the banks make it so that that's the only way to pay lenders. sigh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I recently heard from a friend of mine. Grant you she is a few years older than I but none the less this is her story. She went to grocery store; got her items and came back home. Just as she was setting her bags down; the phone rang, it was her son. He stated that he needed a small loan to get by for a few day because the IRS had wiped out his acct due to the fact that he hadn't paid back taxes. Well since it was just my friend and her son, her son put his mother on all his bank accts. She went for that small loan at the bank and nearly hit the floor. Because she was on her sons acct and had her own accts the IRS felt it necessary to take all the money these two were connected to so that they could get paid. "No harm in this do you say!!!" Your wrong, the IRS doesn't have the right to take away all of what you have; so you can't make payments to everyday bills and such. For these two people in my life they are still having problems keeping hold of money. On one hand this has taught me to pay the IRS right away and second, pay close attention to your money for it really isn't in your hands.
I may careless at times over drawing my acct but who doesn't do this? We don't like to admit to it but it happens and it happens again. We all make mistakes but truly ' what gives the right for some money hungry computer/people to take every last cent you have to justify something in the past???? I really hate money!!!!!!!!!!I truly hate it and can't stand it but I must live with this hatred if I choose to stay with in the society I live.

Conversations

Where are we in a conversation? Do we ever really pay attention? I was listening to my partner today and she told me that basically I get distracted when listening to her. I always feel like she's not listening to me but that's besides that matter. I can think of at least 10 things I was thinking when she was talking. And for this I ask can you truly go through a whole conversation without thinking about other things or even just people watching if by chance your out in public. I ask a friend of mine and she told me that she just picks out the key stuff most of the time when she listens to people talk...all kidding aside she said that we all do this. Her husband is a prime example of a non listener, or pay attentioner! lol
I have started this blog thing thinking that I would just express what was on my mind for now and then develop a style later....Do I have to have a style...
As you read through my blogs of nonsense you discover that I am the queen of worry. I anxities over worrying. I'm not a nut I promise just someone trying to find the logic somewhere lost in her brain.
Well anyway that's my thought for the day.. I can't even finish it because I just have to much to say and not sure how to go about it.